Sunday, February 9, 2014
I'm starting university in about a month. And guess what?! I didn't get into my first or second preference uni, so that means no joining that spiritual club that I wanted. But hey, it's okay, I don't need to rush. I'll just join the actual thing when I move out so my parents don't have to nag me about it.
Man, growing up is fun and scary at the same time.
Signing Off at...
1:37 AM
Monday, July 8, 2013
[Religion + Politics and other people
]
About a week ago, my friend that I thought had almost the same ideas as me in terms of religion told me that she felt guilty about not going to church, but then remembered the car in the garage analogy (going to church doesn't make you a christian anymore than being in a garage makes you a car). I didn't say anything when she said that and only made approving noises and gestures because my siblings were in the car when she told me (I don't want them hearing my own opinions and using it against me and my parents, and I didn't want to see or hear their own opinions on mine). When she told me, it kind of made me sad because it made me feel like I was once again alone in my opinions and beliefs. But I guess that shouldn't stop me from doing what I'm planning to do: find other people who have the same beliefs as me.
---
During dinner tonight, my sister started talking about religion and politics (same sex marriage to be specific). Her opinion was that she supported it, and asked my parents what they believed. They said that they believed that it shouldn't be and was only a ploy for some politicians to get votes and rise to power. My sister countered and complained, and my parents said that it wasn't in the bible, so they didn't believe it. As they were discussing it, I wanted to jump in and tell my sister that having an opinion is like having a dick, that it's fine to have one but not okay flaunt and show it to everyone else nor shove it other people's throats, but I wanted to eat my dinner in peace, so my mouth stayed shut. Telling her off would've lengthened the uncomfortable discussion anyway. (Oh, and if you're wondering, I support same sex marriage. I'm just annoyed because she was so confrontational about it and brought out a lot of conflict.)
You know, I'm fine with people having different opinions on very sensitive issues, but once they say something contrary to what you believe, it upsets you because you want to prove them wrong and tell them that you're right. Then I try to remember that everyone else grew up in different places, with different people, different life experiences and such which have led them to where they are now in regards with beliefs and opinions, and that calms me down a lot. Hooray for being open minded :P Reading about NDEs help too. They remind me of why I'm so open in the first place.
*sigh*
=
When I get out of university, pay all my debts and possibly move out of my parents' house, I can finally be freeeeee to explore the world and find people who are like-minded.
Signing Off at...
9:04 PM
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
I was talking to my friends about what to do after we finish exams in a few months. It eventually lead to us talking about a certain friend who isn't able to come during our group outings because of certain reasons (religious reasons, most likely).
It's a long story, but I realized that my friend of mine isn't as cold as I thought she was. She missed a certain someone. I always thought that she hated that person for being different to what is expected, but it's actually not. She misses them.
It kind of hit me hard because all this time I've been thinking this and that. I learned that she actually cares for that person and the other one currently with her. I feel bad because I told myself that I wouldn't judge anyone based on certain things, but I kind of did with this friend of mine. But hey, no one's perfect. As much as I strive to accept people as they are, sometimes I slip. But you know, you make a mistake, you learn from it and you move on.
Signing Off at...
5:31 PM
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
I love the series Star Trek. I haven't watched all of the TV series though, nor have seen any of the movies, including the newest one (Star Trek into Darkness). The only series I've seen are The Next Generation, Voyager and Deep Space Nine. I haven't seen the first or last TV series(The Original Series and Enterprise), nor do I intend to in the near future as I have not even finished Voyager yet. I watching 3 episodes each Friday night and was, I think, halfway through season 5 or 6, but they suddenly stopped airing the reruns and instead replaced it with Sex in the City (NOOOOO! D: D: *despair*
I don't know which series I like better. I'd probably say that ST: TNG is my ultimate favorite from the three that I've watched, followed by Voyager and DS9. TNG is my absolute personal fave because of its moral tales and philosophical nature, followed by Voyager (IDK why it's my second fave, I just happen to like it). I started watching DS9 with some preconceived notion that it was going to be very different (in a bad way) from the usual series, making me wary. I read that the themes were much darker than the first three TV series, which were pretty light compared to it (a utopian future). I didn't like it at all at first. But slowly and surely, I'm am starting to kind of appreciate it. Honestly, I've been avoiding it like the plague whenever it's on TV during its first airing of the reruns on TV, but I'm watching bits and pieces of it now. I'd like to move on to watching full episodes, as I have seen some of them, and I have to say, it's actually really good.
What I really like about Star Trek in general (from what I've watched) is that they deal with so many issues that apply to today's society. They have issues relating to religion, politics, values, society and other important things. For example, there was an episode-- Oh wait, I'm not going to delve deep into details, you have to watch the series for yourself :P
Also, I had to rant here because none of my friends watch ST at all. *okay*
Signing Off at...
1:15 AM
Saturday, May 18, 2013
I'm leaning more towards this university that
doesn't have the Baha'i club, as the campus is farther than I would like (2 hours travel max by train). So.... I'm leaning towards a university that is located in the campus, which seems to be the better option because it's only 45 minutes of travel by train AND they have a Unitarian Universalist congregation in the city! I can walk there during my spare time without my parents knowing XD
Problem is though, it's full of older people! I checked their website and it looked like they were around 30-60 year old, with the 60 being age of majority in it...
See, that's the only thing I don't like about it. There's going to be a uni-aged student in between all of these... old people D: I'm going to feel so out of place! Ah well, I can always apply for membership later on in my life.
So... I'm kind of in between joining Baha'i and UU, but the dilemma that I'm in involves the demographic that both of them have. Baha'i has a broader age range, but it's not as liberal as my views, while that UU church fits me more, but has.... a very limited age range.
Eh, let's just see what happens.
---
Oh btw, my parents are A LOT less imposing on what I should be doing on weekends (hint: church). Ever since I "came out" because of the pressure, I've been feeling a lot more relaxed because I don't have to pretend like I'm someone else.
Yay.
Signing Off at...
5:07 AM
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
It's 5 months in to this year, and 4 months into my last year of highschool, and I've decided that I want to go to this certain university because they have a Baha'i club there. I'm going to work really hard this year to get into that university with the course that I want. I really can't wait to meet people who have almost the same ideas as me.
I currently self-identify as a Unitarian Universalist, but due to their small numbers in the state, and generally the country that I live in, and their lack of young people in it, I've decided to try out Baha'i first, as they have a broader demographic. Even if their beliefs aren't as liberal as UUism, it's around 85% compatible with what
I believe in, so it's all cool.
I've been feeling so isolated due to my current beliefs, as most of my friends are either Christian, Muslim or atheist. I only have one friend who has almost the same ideas as me, and she's my current bestfriend. I'm glad I have at least someone who thinks almost the way I do.
I
really want to get into that university.
--
Speaking of friends...
Your friends are one of your greatest blessings. Take time to spend time with them. Nurture them. Friends enrich your life immeasurably. They make good times better and hard times easier. Be good to your friends and love them well.
I really do love my friends.
--
I'm turning legal this year. Maybe then I can sign and keep my own documents and remove my status as a member of the RCC.
As much as I appreciate the values that the RCC has taught me, I just can't live with myself knowing that I'm putting on this facade for the sake of my parent's happiness. I'm not your doll. I have my own opinions and beliefs too, you know. And besides, what's the point of saying that I'm a member of a group when I do not adhere to their doctrine and dogma anyway? And I'm not saying that I hate the group or disrespect their beliefs. It's just a matter of incompatibility, nothing more.
Signing Off at...
12:55 AM
Monday, April 15, 2013
A few days/weeks ago, I was reading random articles on the internet with religion as the topic. As I was browsing through the stream of comments in particular article, I saw one that stated that he/she didn't believe in God, as he cannot be seen or felt, but believed in Love in place of it, because it can be seen and felt.
I was amused at the comment because only recently have I learned through many months/years of self-reflection (with a little help from people/events who inspire me) that
God is Love.
Love is the greatest feeling in the world. Not necessarily romantic love (for all of you romantics out there) obviously. It also includes love for your parents, love for your friends... love for
everyone, basically.
As a child, I was taught in school that the big guy in the sky loves everyone
unconditionally. No buts and no ifs. He just loves everyone.
Unconditionally. But over the recent years I became in conflict at the idea of how He could leave evil people to rot in Hell if He loved everyone unconditionally. So I eventually started reflecting and questioning the things that have been taught to me.
(I'll leave this topic for another post later)
A few months back, I tried to integrate a new moral code in my life: to love everyone unconditionally, to accept them for who they are, and to be non-judgmental. It was really hard at first. I couldn't help but think about why they should be deserving of acceptance. But I managed to do it somehow. I loved everyone simply because they
were. (I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense, but's that's the only way I can say it now)
You know what happened? I became more at peace with myself and with others. It has also opened my mind a lot more than when I still believed in my old belief system. As I came to love everyone just as they are, I became happier. A genuine kind of happy. I also felt content. I became
a lot more accepting as a person.
I became
free. Free from the constant need to judge other people (quietly) in my mind. Free from the thinking pattern of "why should I do x when y?" in terms of other people. Free from having to use my energy to feel a certain way about people. I didn't have to think. I just had to
love.
I, of course, sometimes fail to uphold this moral code at times. I am only human after all, and no one is perfect. But I do try. When you make mistakes, sometimes you just gotta move on from it and keep lovin' again.
Signing Off at...
1:17 AM